No, no, I have no change to give, but I'll spare a cigarette or several.
This is my contribution to you, you destitute of San Francisco: take my death sticks, fill your lungs, shorten your life by minutes with each drag.
Thank you for telling me that I have a beautiful smile. I'll continue to use it.
Pound the wooden barriers, I've reached the gates of gold, and I'm here to sell you a program. Take a CD too, if you love South Pacific so much. In fact, take the whole lot of it. You heard me. SOUVENIR PROGRAMS! - CDS! - BROADWAY REVIVAL CAST! - WE ALSO SELL HATS! MAGNETS! AND KEYCHAINS!!
Confusion still lingers here. The longer we prolong this confusion - my chaos - the less sure I am. Is it so obvious as we sit in a room filled with our friends, that we want each other? It's peculiar to hear observations about our tension, when we try so hard to hide our infrequent alone-times. My intimacy button is a flexible trigger.
The ball is in your court, Sir, (so to speak), please put it into play. We left Winter with your morals, and now here we are, besmirching said moral values with this passionate want, but a want for what - the physical? Speaking for myself, I want - more - the more time I spend with you, the more that I want of you - more than just sex and fucking.
It is enough that I find myself with you, but to speak about how I feel is to give you the most charred vulnerable core of myself, and I am very frightened to let it come out, lame and barely healed. Because once I reveal my feelings, you will be overwhelmed, and you will see that I'm too much. (That was just my Fear speaking - shut it, you!)
The dilemma is somewhat clear. I enjoy your company so much that for the moment, I'm haplessly sacrificing my feelings for this moment, this moment, Now. Has it ever been this difficult to say: I want you, really care for you. Let's run to the stars with our palms outstretched until we find ourselves shrieking joy in the sea. If we race, I bet I will win, and I want to be sure that you're splashing in right next to me. Include the adventure package deal - puttering motor boats between huge pieces of landscape, walking down a farmer's market sampling fruit, riding motorbikes in the heated summer of a tropical city, making fun of statues, spectating puppet shows, visiting ancient temples, eating cupcakes, watching sunsets, sunrises, each other as we wake up, we kind of do that, we do that.
I write, I write, as I hide, and fear, and for now I cannot speak -
Please, please I am right here. I am a child and I want as a woman, and I'm growing up, but tripping on toes keeps hindering my growth. We rise, we fall, we pick ourselves up, but let's not get victimized here, no more nails and crosses.
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