Masks Worn Perfectly

The world has been ending since the beginning of the world.
Fear is the mental repetition of a negative event;
we still wait for the quake along the human fault.

When we lean into places where we don't want to look,
the places that hurt, that twist us into unnatural shapes,
we begin to fall forward into living more deeply,
an unbalance that becomes another layer of truth;
and those places are full of essence, and that essence is love.

I exhale into the ground,
into the tree I climb in my dreams,
the faces of my human family;
the universe receives my breath,
and in it is my love for all.
I inhale into myself,
and from the molecules around me,
the love given to me
by the earth, tree, and hearts,
I breathe in their love for myself.

Here is sustainability.
Proceed from love,
a love given by royal, noble you,
and here in this universe,
we'll treat each other like kings and queens.

We each are teachers -
we teach each other
how to treat ourselves,
and therefore, the love
of our unwavering selves
must come from us.

Then when I see others
with their masks worn perfectly,
can I see that I am of essence, too.

Unapologetically
Willfully
Excitedly
in love with the world.

Potential

My full potential.

What can this possibly mean?

I can explore the universe of my fantasies, the caverns of my heart.

Perhaps that's what I've always relied on:
a more, fuller Me that lives in my head.
Someone I've always wanted to live up,
and quite honestly,
I'm ashamed when I move further.

Actually,
that's not true.

I surprise myself sometimes.

I'm not always on the path of moving closer or further away from my fantasy self.

Sometimes,
I delineate from that path altogether.

And,
unexpectedly,
I enjoy that part of myself,
perhaps the closer to myself - the truer fuller me.

Who is to say that Fantasy Me
can even be achieved?

Or rather -
do I even really want fantasy me to manifest?

This isn't a Hollywood film.

Rock Against a Hard Me

as I was dancing last night
there was a way
in which a man held me
really close
like he wanted to dance
WITH me
match me
or find a place
of togetherness with me

that I
wasn't able
to be with

I kept wrenching out
of his rhythm
and he couldn't keep up
with the spontaneity of mine

because I wanted to feel the music
but I also wanted him There

so that when I really felt
and danced in a way
that I can let go
I could know that he was there
to push up against
to witness me

and Jesus

I think that's what I've been wanting

to have someone distant enough

close enough

to witness me

and hold me

while giving me space

so that when I reach out
in my growth
expression
loving
I know he'll be there.

summer in sanfran

Here I lie
in the heat
of this SOMA
smelly bliss

as grown men
groan in restraints
of dumbbells
next door
at some new age gym.