Dear God,
I would appreciate it if today was a lot better than yesterday. No waking up to feelings of rejection. No trust trauma with my friends. If you give me bipolar spurt-moments of "I love life," make sure that learning about manipulation and not-forthcoming folks do not follow shortly after - I'd like those moments to last more than, you know, spurts. If I'm anxious, let it be over being sick and war in the world, not work that I'll eventually get done or potential parking tickets or approaching people. And God, I'd really appreciate it if I can get past my lack of trust for most people soon; I can see how that's affecting my ability to be present. Don't let me get upset over things not going my way - it's not worth it, and I've been told that I can do much better than the friends and situations that I settle for. If I am to embrace free love, please let me do it without hesitation. I also shouldn't get upset when all of my guy friends have invoked the bro code - I just need to learn to accept the cockblock from cool friends. God, don't let me be a snark around my company, even if they question my abilities and my potential to do better and be productive. Please, also, let me retain attention towards my studies, books, writing.
God, please also understand that I'm an extremist. Give me real fog, not the wispy kind, but the thick encapsulating kind. If you give me sunshine, let me burn. If it rains, I want a cold shower. Give me people - make sure that they speak a language that can at least 50% sync with mine (face it, no one understands me); and men who want me should want to experience me for more than my body.
Remember, God, that I love you, even as I spend all of my strength just stepping out of bed, and out of this damn old funk.
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