The pavement universe was littered with earthworms and snails. I swear I crushed about fifty of them with my heels on the way home. I apologized to each as I did.
I am on an emotional dock, and this ship has set sail from joyful revelations to solemn fear. Last night, I achieved the meaning of play, and we embarked on the spectrum of true human experience, and I was glad to have been honest with myself and my partner. Sean, who looks, acts, feels like Jonathan - who gave me moments of panic when I felt Jonathan channel through him - and without ever having connected, not a single eye contact or word, we became genuine partners. But now I feel like I've taken risks. Waiting on a phone call that was lost in transit, waiting can sometimes be a mean activity. I entertain all these thoughts of what might be possible, and I don't know if it's fear or intuition that tells me I'm going to be broken. I can't be fearlessly vulnerable as I want to be - I'm not strong enough yet.
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