Inject the Reject

I get a momentary shock whenever I see my scalp blood red but the dye speaks only in the glimmer of light and feeling my calloused feet in the softness of our gypsy studio haven I try grounding myself my tears sought soft porous skin searching not solace but feeling it feeling it in a way that places me in my belly button and shoots me out into the clear blue of our winter sky then I can feel the stones sinking my heart into the river and the weeds I grasp onto cannot save me from drowning in this ache of abandonment insecurity lack of contact fear of connection like that intensity in my pelvis when I let you inside my soft places so I can feel your hard intentions and it's this radiant connectivity that is addiction I draw attachments to our sex like an anchor grounding my soul in your eyes and when you discredit what I might call love for attachment with your resistance backing away not wanting infinity with me I live in minute boxes called Rejection and only hear the echoing cries of no no no's.