The Wanting Game

Here, I'm going to evaluate what is that I truly want
whether or not it is going to still be true
and what will happen if the want gets fulfilled.

Alright. Let's do this.




Today I am going home. From home, I will pick up:
- camera charger x
- external hard drive x
- hot water boiler, if possible
- food: granola, milk, yogurt, fruit, vegetables, dried foods, tea x
- Love Actually x
- luggage + clothes x
--- which includes: more underwear, t-shirts, leggings, sweats, blouses, boots, flats, running shoes, socks, jeans
- hygiene stuff: panty liners, pads, shampoo, callous foot scrubber, loofah x
- hair dryer, if possible x
- my perfume x




My diet has been fluctuating since I've gone on the pill and became a gypsy. A big part of it is my lack of exercise and my stress levels; another is - whenever I have food, I BINGE eat.
[disciplinary eating routine here]
*** May consider eating + exercise schedule here. ***

- dairy is limited - milk has to be whole milk (good protein in whole that is taken out in reduced or non-fat milk); will consider drinking coconut milk, a whole milk or goat's milk for yogurt, cottage cheese, but will avoid other cheeses
- no nuts, avoid soy except tofu (small amounts)
- look for gluten-free products
- fruits including lots of citrus, Malus fruits (apples, pears, etc.), bananas, berries
- vegetables including lettuce, sprouts, green beans, broccoli, asparagus (this list can go on forever, I love vegetables)
- meat - this is a hard one for me; I can probably cook most fish and like 'em, chicken sometimes, other kind of meats not so much; I'm not going to pretend to be a vegetarian anymore, and at the same time, I'm not going to force myself to eat meat when I don't want to

+ mornings usually look like a cold dairy breakfast for me - I love eating cereal and milk, granola and yogurt with as much fruit as I can cram, cottage cheese dolloped on a fruit bowl; flaxseed and protein powder can always be added to this to kickstart my day --- MUST learn how to eat breakfast regularly (even today, I haven't had breakfast... or lunch)
+ dinner is usually easy to prepare if I have time - lunch is a whole 'nother story; if I have lunch at work, it would have to be VERY conscious... to be explored

exercise: the one thing that inspires me, as well as gives me the right amount of discipline is yoga - in a class - everyday; this: http://www.trubates.com/ shows me my options; but doing yoga classes will add onto my bill of expenses :(




goals / things for 2011
- to be clear on what I want with money: what I want to do with money, what is essential, how do I help myself and others with it, how to budget, watch where my money flows to
- write for an hour everyday: if I can sit down and write without pause for an hour straight everyday, I can access a flow of writing that can only get better
- read a book a week: 2010 was a year of loosely reading, never finishing, not practicing enough curiosity and too much Facebook; it is time to get my imagination and curiosity juices a flowin'; can't wait to start taking the bus to work (1 hour long bus ride = 1 hour of read time)
- cut down Facebook time: check for messages, your favorite people's pages, click on only three links, GET OUT; I realize that sounds nuts, but the more agreements that I make with discipline, the better
- call my mom once a week: before she calls me once a month, fuming, upset, pent up; I realize that a lot of my relationship is agonizing waiting for her to call me - I'm going to muster up the courage to WANT to call her out of curiosity and love; let's set this up as my ritual Sunday morning (after reading/writing/exercise, of course!)




money flow (monthly):
$200 credit cards
$60 student debt
$50 health card debt
$50 cell phone bill
$15 Netflix
$100 transportation ($4 bus X's 5 days/week = $20)
$x miscellaneous (goddamn) parking tickets... to be slowly paid off
~ around $500 in accruing debt / ongoing bills
holy shit
I could do without Netflix, certainly
I could downgrade my phone, although that would be shite
not much else to do here
here are the other approximate essentials:
- food
- shelter
If I live minimally, (with Elizabeth, helping out with food, etc.), I would still be spending half of my paycheck every month (approx. $800). This only leaves me around that same amount for moving out to a bigger place - leaving me living from paycheck to paycheck. ***epidemic*** Now I just need to figure out how to make more money... bartending gig... sugar daddy... $200 blowjobs... throw me a bone here!




Updating, continuously.